I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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