hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
