I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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