Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My ass is underappreciated
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
