Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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