Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize