the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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