If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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