Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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