I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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