how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
