if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
