She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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