Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
