it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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