dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
