don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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