he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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