I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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