I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
