im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
