im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
