Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
