Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
