i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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