Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
