His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
