so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize