Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
