He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
