what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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