Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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