Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
