i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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