If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
