i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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