Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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