I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
