just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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