i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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