I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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