Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize