totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
