If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize