If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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