you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize