Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
