o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
