My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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