mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
