Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
