Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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