p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
