he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All the doctor said was why
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
