Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
