No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My vagina is very pro this idea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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