Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
