If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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