how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
