so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
