he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Girls should come with a carfax report
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
