ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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