Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
