i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
