i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
