I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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