toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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