i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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