I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
