I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
