I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
