he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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