I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
this hospital has no fireball
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
