I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
