I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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